Thursday, March 31, 2011


Yesterday was sunny and warm, and I knew something was wrong when Theo said he was feeling cold.

It's not even remotely cold out.

After a long nap (which is HIGHLY unusual these days!)  Theo woke up feverish.

Today his hands and feet have broken out into a red, prickly rash.  We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.

The problem is, I'm very scared.  Last night I just sat beside his bed, wondering what the *&%# I would do if he died.  There've been a few kiddie deaths in our state from a freak strain of walking pneumonia, (and that's what I was initially worried about), but now that he has a rash I feel a bit better.  Rashes usually don't mean rabid strains of pneumonia.

But that gets me wondering - am I going to be paranoid each time he gets sick between now and adulthood?  That's a lot of colds, aches, headaches, stomach pains, flus, swollen glands, fevers and rashes away.  When will I be able to relax, trust God for the future?

Unfortunately, trusting God these days is tough.  He didn't keep my first son from dying, so what's to keep him from taking my remaining child?  How am I supposed to ever "relax" now?  My world is even less safe than it was a year ago.

And now Theo's having another nightmare - it's going to be a long night.  GREAT.


Anonymous said...

Oh Rebecca...that would be a dreadful feeling and I cannot imagine having to think about it every time your child gets sick. Poor little Theo!

I will be praying for his healing and for you to have peace.

Rebecca said...

Hi Anita!

Thanks for your prayers, Theo seems to be feeling better, although his rash has become worse. Turns out he only has the foot and mouth virus and it should be over in a few days. He was VERY happy to hear that. :) I think he dislikes being sick as much I do!

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