Monday, February 28, 2011

Growing Alchemy

Starting over is really hard for me.  If I’m working on a failing sewing project, I tend not to scrap it until I have bled, sweat, and cried on it.  Most of the time I just finish it and pretend to like it.  But how do you start your life over?  I know that Vincent’s life and death has changed me, but how will that work itself out in my life?  One of my friends messaged me on facebook and said, 
“You will find yourself again... You won't be the same person, but in this lengthy grieving process, new roots will establish themselves in your foundation, your worldview, the things you value in life, new interests that you weren't interested in before this all happened, they're 'Vincent roots', an extension of him growing in you and making an impact in this world.”
Somehow I must trust that this process of alchemy has already begun in my life, that somehow my grief, anger, and disappointment can transform into something beautiful.  Somehow “Vincent roots” have taken hold and are sprouting upwards, fed by light and rain alike.  

4 comments:

Laura said...

First of all, thank you so much for de lurking and leaving me such a beautiful comment.

As for how to start your life over? I am not sure I have an answer to that.
But I do love what your friend sent you...

I am just so glad that I know of you and Vincent and your heart ache...
because you are in my prayers now

much love to you

The Common Loon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Common Loon said...

Vincent was such a good little boy. I miss him each hour of every day.

Alchemy or no alchemy, we will never be the same without him.

Rebecca said...

Hi Laura!

I'm so glad that you made it over here to my little newborn blog, and thanks too for your prayers - they really help.